wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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