hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
