Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
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