direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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