Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
