the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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