Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
