he wants to bone in the snuggie
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
