Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
