I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
