We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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