i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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