Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
