you guys were way drunker than both of me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
