Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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