I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
