we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
