I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
