Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
