It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
