and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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