I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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