just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
