Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize