News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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