have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
