WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
