So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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