that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
