tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
