He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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