your thong is hanging out like whoa
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No subtext here. People are naked.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize