I think I am morally bankrupt
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
