While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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