Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
