If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pants are for mortals
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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