Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
