just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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