She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There r osticjed everywhere
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have already put on my inside pants.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
