I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
