her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
