I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
