she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
