I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
