You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
