Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
