Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
