I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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