Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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