After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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