I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
