Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
