Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just invented taco cereal.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
