Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
