She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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