Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
