I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
