He kissed a someone with a penis
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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